So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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