She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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