did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
vagina is talking i cant
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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