How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
