super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
