I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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