My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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