Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
