Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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