i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
