It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
