you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
