Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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