I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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