Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
