well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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