i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
