just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
