i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
