i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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