i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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