I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
