he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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