Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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