i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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