Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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