she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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