I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
