If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
