it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
