Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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