I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
