the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
