just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
