It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
