Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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