woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Actions speak louder than pants.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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