I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You can't special order awesome
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize
