I could have mohawked her pubes.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Randomize
