Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
