so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
