my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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