is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
