i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
