Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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