Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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