As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
