do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
