can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
