he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You can't just leave with hair like that
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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